Failure
by Edengwen
Summary: Reposted - When one of Will's loses nearly claims his life, his friends and family need to come together to save him but will his guilt make him not want to fight. (In this story Will is the older brother)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

He couldn't feel anything, everything was in darkness. That was all he could remember. There was no light coming in from any direction to light up the world around him to tell him where he was or what had happened.

At first he thought it was night time but that didn't make sense in his mind at all. For one he could feel a warmth on his face like his skin was in connect with the sun it could only mean that it was daylight. With this small fact he had the strange feeling that he was at home and had overslept again. If that was true Ms Goodwin was going to kill him, it was not that he didn't wake up in time but that he often woke early and would normally lay in bed thinking sometimes for hours. However he knew that if it wasn't for his little brother he would sleep in more often.

Sadly living with his brother also had its bad points; Jay somehow could make enough noise to wake the dead. For being a former ranger Jay was not a morning person. And if there wasn't any coffee ready, he heard about it.

But then that idea didn't make sense; he could remember leaving for work and then the same in getting into work. Also he couldn't feel his face on his soft pillow or his sheets hanging off his waist. The other thing that made him fully believe that he wasn't at home in bed was the pressure against his ribs. It felt hard. His bed wasn't the best nor the softest but nothing like this. When he had told Jay that he was staying in Chicago; Jay had quickly set up ordering a new bed for the spare room as it wasn't really set for people to live in.

But he enjoyed living with his younger brother. The main reason why he still lived with Jay was that him and his father still didn't get on enough for him to live with him and to be truthful to himself he wasn't ready to look for a place of his own just yet. Mainly because he had no idea how long he was going to stay in Chicago.

Jay had called it in the past 'running away', however emotions and the Halstead men never went well. He had learnt over the years that showing his feelings never worked, not with his family. His father always called him the weak one of the family, and that didn't help at all. Because he knew that it was true, he was weak.

He was the odd one out in the family, his brother and father had both served in the military and were both Rangers. And so did most of the male members of his family past and present. And been the oldest he knew that his father wanted him to follow him in his footsteps. When he had turned eighteen; his father had pointed out that it was time for him to serve his country and join the family tradition but that wasn't for him.

At the age of ten, their mother had been given the news that she had cancer. It was seeing his mother laying in the hospital bed that made him want to become a doctor. His mother loved the idea. However even with his mother's blessing his father worked hard in getting him to sign up every chance he got. And when he was accepted into college to study medicine, his mother was proud of him for following his heart. But with his father he was meet with his coldness and the military was brought up every time he stepped though the door.

Soon his mind went back to working out what he was laying on. The ground underneath him was rough and cold. He was laying on it made no sense to him, why was he on the ground?

He had been knocked out in the past but at the moment he couldn't feel a headache which he often had when he woke up on the ground. In school, he was often attacked and bullied. He was one of the few in the school with such a high IQ. And along with his love of knowledge he was often the target. He often found himself more settled in the library or in the classroom then outside as there he was safe. He did play sports with his brother but his heart wasn't alway up for it.

On the other hand, Jay was so different to him. He was very much like their father. Jay was a fighter. But unlike his father, his brother cared about him. When he had found out that people were attacking his brother he started to watch him like a hawk and often stepped in to help his older brother.

He had been taught self-defence by his father however he hated using it. He only used it when he knew that the fight had gotten out of hand and was going to end with him in hospital. He never wanted to hurt anyone. It wasn't in his nature. However that didn't mean he didn't have a hot headed irish temper but that didn't often come out.

Often when he was left alone with his mother, she told him that he was born with a pure heart and was too kind. He was very much like her. His fiery hair, his love for knowledge and his kind heart all come from her. It was another reason why he didn't get on with his father. Unlike Jay, he was a reminder of his loss. And as he had followed his mother's wishes and his own dreams, he and his father butted heads. It had been one of these arguments that had cost Jay his relationship with their father once and for all.

Soon the world around him started to become brighter; sadly at the same time he felt his chest scream in pain as if he was been scorched by fire. Then pain came all at once, like his nerves had been turned off and they had only just been switched back on. The burn started in the center of his chest all the way down to his stomach.

He hadn't felt anything like this before, he knew in that moment that he hadn't been beating up. He knew what that felt like, and as another wave of pain exploded in his body he felt the need to scream as loud as he could. But couldn't. Tears filled his eyes he opened them to see the world around him.

The light nearly caused his head to explode with pain. He quickly closed them trying to stop his head from throwing him back into darkness. He knew he needed help, and as he could hear the sound of cars and the sound of city life he knew that he had a chance. He wanted to shout at the top of his lungs for help but as he tried to take in enough air into his lungs to shout, he couldn't find it.

Something was seriously wrong, he could barely push enough air into his lungs to breath or move. Along with his lungs not working right, he could taste iron in his mouth like it was filling with blood.

Now the worry had started to take over him, he was in trouble and couldn't call anyone to help him.

His whole day was now so mixed up in his own head he couldn't work out what he had done or where he was. But one thing that he knew was true was that he felt upset, like he had done something that now he wished he hadn't or something had happened which he could not stop.

He couldn't work out where he was and why no one had found him yet? He knew that he was still at or around the hospital as he could feel his badge in his pocket and normally it ended up in his bag before he got to his car. Also he could feel his scrub label on his neck.

He hated wearing his scrubs outside of work, normally when he got home, his scrubs felt like a thousand pounds more heavy than they were when he put them on. He had once described it to Jay a long time ago, that it was as if his scrubs were being held down by the people he couldn't save; for that he wanted them off as soon as he could.

He also knew that if he tried to get changed in the hospital he knew that it was more likely for him to fall asleep in his car in the car park of the hospital. And that was not a comfortable place to sleep.

He opened his eyes once again but this time he was ready for the pain that he knew was there ready to crack open his skull. But this time, the pain in his skull was joined by another scorching pain erupted in his chest.

Been able to see where he was showed him that he was at the side of the hospital, in a little courtyard. But now all he wanted was to be back in the darkness of no pain. The tears from his eyes were flowing freely down his cheeks.

He moved his hand down to the location of the pain to see why it felt like his body was in fire and quickly he felt a warm liquid flowed slowly through his fingers. He looked at his shaking hands he found them now stained crimson red.

He was face down on the floor with a growing pool of his own blood that had started to seep into his clothing. He was bleeding out but he couldn't remember how. But he knew that he needed to find out from where. He quickly moved from a someone who knew he was bleeding out to a doctor. And the only difference was that he, himself was the patient.

His mind quickly ran over the symptoms of blood loss, to work out what symptoms were from the blood loss and what other come be from other injuries. The symptoms were tiredness, confusion, sensitive to light and of course the pain from a wound. The one thing he knew for sure was that whatever had happened and the fact that he was still alive meant that an artery hadn't been hit.

Quickly and carefully he pressed his fingers in where hurt the most and soon his fingers came across a long straight line from where is his ribs meet to his diaphragm. He had been stabbed. Now he understood why breathing was so painful and why he was tasting blood in his mouth, he had been stabbed and it could have hit one or both of his lungs.

He needed to get to the ER as soon as possible or he knew too well that he was going to bled out. Taking in a deep breath he pushed the fabric of his jacket into his wound, gasping as he did so. His body screamed in pain for him to stop and quickly he felt like he was going to pass out again.

With two more harsh breaths he pushed himself into a sitting position, the world soon started to spin. Slowly and painfully he pulled himself to his feet and staggered to the wall of the hospital to stop himself from hitting the ground again.

He could feel his eyes start to water, the pain was getting worse. But he had to move; he didn't want to die alone. With one hand stuck to his wound he slowly staggered towards the ER.

No one noticed him as he entered and went past the front desk. It wasn't busy and no one was at the desk due to an old couple sat in the corner asking question after question. He didn't know why but he didn't care that no one noticed him as what he needed was inside the ER.

As the ER doors opened he tried his best to work out who he could see and who he couldn't as his world was now turning fuzzy. With what was left of his strength he was able to drag himself the desk and gripped the edge hoping to hold himself up a little longer. It was then that he hear his name being called.

"Hey Will, you ok?" It was Ethan. He couldn't speak; he wanted too. He wanted to tell his friend what had happened but he couldn't. Soon he felt the darkness start to take him back. And the next thing he knew was that he was falling.

He could feel Ethan try to stop him from hitting the floor too hard but as quickly as his head touched the floor his eyes rolled up into head. And he remembered no more.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Ethan had been stood looking down at his chart for over ten minutes and still hadn't really read it. He was worried. Worried about Will and had been for a long time. The young doctor's life had gone from bad to worse in such a short period of time. And it had affected his friend more than he would ever say.

Personally he had no idea how Will was keeping everything together at all. He knew that if it had been him, he would have lost it a long time ago. It had all started for his friend when he had taken a week's leave out of the blue.

And he meant out of the blue, the night before Will had told them all that he would see them tomorrow but then as the day went on he never arrived. No one knew the reason behind it, well expect Ms Goodwin and Doctor Charles. All she would tell them was that Will had called in telling her that he needed some time off. But everyone had a feeling that she knew more than she was telling them.

However what annoyed him the most was the comments said by Doctor Rhodes and Doctor Zanetti. Ones that they didn't keep to themselves quietly and said whenever someone was close to them and talking about Will. They had complained about how Will was able to call in and get the whole week off when they knew very well that they couldn't without a serious reason. He had to restrain himself from snapping at the pair when they talked about how unfair it was and how Will hadn't made the best impression but still got time off.

Personally Ethan could only guess that whatever had happened to cause Will to miss work was to do with his younger brother. He had seen the pair at Molly's and he could tell that the two brothers were very protective of each other and close even if they hadn't spoken for a few years. And he had been right.

On the fourth day he had gone down to the outpatients section of the hospital to see a friend that he knew was coming in on his lunch break. However what shocked him was that after leaving his friend with the doctor he saw Will stood in the hallway speaking to one of the attending on shift. And their conversation looked very hushed and secretive as Will stopped talking every time someone passed them.

After watching Will leave the unit, he had gone up to the doctor who was luckily a friend and asked him what Will was here for. Hoping that his friend wasn't hurt. But the news was far worse than he had thought and it horrified him.

The doctor told him very little but enough to know why Will wasn't at work. Will had come in to get his brother's wounds checked as he had found that one of the wounds had become infected and needed some antibiotics to fight it.

Ethan had meet Will's younger brother Jay at Molly's but mainly the two brothers liked to stick to their own worlds when with others but he liked the young hearing that Jay had been kidnapped and tortured, horrified him. When he was in Afghanistan he had seen soldiers come to him with wounds that were caused to inflicted pain and twice as many civilians. But he never got use to them and to think that someone could do that to Jay angered him.

He then understood why Ms Goodwin had given Will the week off, he needed to be with his brother. If it had been a member of his family he would have demanded time off to stay with them. It would take time for Jay to heal and not just from the physical wounds.

On the Monday, he had spotted Will's car pull in over the road from him. So he waited, he knew that Will might not want to talk about what had happened with his brother but at the same time he needed a friend.

That didn't stop the others from asking him every time they corner him; he had tried to help his friend by reminding them that it was one of their business and to leave Will alone. Luckily for him Maggie and Dr Charles had also started to step in. Maggie even more protectively. She had alway had a soft spot for the young doctor and had become almost like an older sister.

As the days went on, he had spotted Will speaking to Doctor Charles, but not as often as Will calling his brother on his phone every chance he got. Most of the conversations were a few seconds long, mainly due to Jay hanging up after telling his brother that he was fine.

But sometimes their conversation lasted longer. Will often spoke quietly into his phone when he was around people. Ethan could only guess that something had gone wrong or Jay had suffered another nightmare. He knew that those could seriously damage the mind.

As time went on he saw his old friend slowly coming back and he had spotted Jay coming into the hospital for work related reasons and not just to see his brother or Doctor Charles. However that wasn't to last, slowly Will he started to fall back into his old ways of not speaking to anyone unless he had too, hiding from any connect with his friends. And he hadn't been the only one to spot this.

Doctor Charles had started to watch the young doctor more closely over the weeks since Jay was hurt, and with this odd behaviour he had tried to speak to Will any chance he got. However he had mentioned to Ethan who he knew every well was also worried about their friend that Will was proving to be a hard to crack. But that didn't mean he was going to give up.

After a few weeks Ethan could only think about talking to one person. The one person who might know what was going on with his friend. Will's brother, Jay. And he was easy to find, one night he spotted him drinking alone in Molly's. Jay had mentioned he was waiting for the rest of the Intelligence unit to arrive however it was the only chance he could see. He had gone and sat with Jay explaining what he started to happen with Will. And an hour later and three bottles of beer later he had found out the truth.

It was very close to the anniversary of their mother's death. And that every year Will became quiet and distracted before he crashed unable to hid his emotions any longer. And as he got up to leave Jay to move to sit with his unit, Jay had asked him to keep an eye on his brother. So he did.

On the anniversary of their mother's death, Ethan had headed over to see if Will was alright. And true to his brother's word he found Will in tears unable to hold his emotions in any longer. He had never seen his friend like that and he promised Will that no one would find out.

However now, with this new problem he didn't know what to say to his friend. Will had been given a crap hand. They all had cases that just got to them, that kept them up at night however he had a feeling that his case was going to haunt Will.

A mother had been brought in with her son by her husband, as she was having dizzy spells and falling. In the end the boy went home without his mother with only a heartbroken father to care for him. One minute she was fine and Will was ordering some more tests and the next she had coded and after ten minutes of trying they called it.

He could only guess that Will could relate to the family a little too much. And with the father blaming Will for not saving his wife made everything worse. After the husband had been taken away by security Will had left saying he needed a break. And everyone understood why. No one had expected it to happen.

Ethan only looked up when he heard the sound of the ER doors opening. Today had been an odd slow day for them all. He saw Will slowly walking towards the desk and quickly gripping the edge of the desk. Will looked more pale than he had done when he left, and with that Ethan moved towards Will. Something was wrong.

"Will, are you ok?" Ethan asked as he got closer to his friend, he could see that Will's arms were shaking as he tried to hold his grip on the desk.

Hearing his name Will had looked up at him, Ethan in that moment saw something in Will's eyes, something he had never saw before in his friend's eyes, fear.

But he couldn't think much about it as a few seconds later he watched in horror as his friend's body bucked and then collapse to the floor. All Ethan could do was try to catch him before his smacked his head off the floor. He watched in horror as Will's eye rolled into his head.

"Will!" Ethan shouted trying to wake his friend but then shouted to the people around him. "I need some help here!"

He tried his best to shake his friend awake but then noticed something he hadn't before. His friend's hands were covered in blood. As was his jacket. Ethan could barely see the amount of blood on his friend's red jacket but he knew what had caused it. In the blood soaked jacket was a long cut in the fabric.

"Oh my god, Dr Halstead!" The voice made him look up, Sarah was stood in shock looking at the scene in front of her.

"Sarah get me something to stop this bleeding now!" He quickly shouted he had already pressed his hands on his friend's abdomen to try to stop the bleeding but his hands were become more and more stained. She nodded before running to one of the treatment rooms, he could hear her opening draws getting him what he needed.

Soon April was kneeling next to him feeling for Will's pulse. Her face was plastered with concern as she saw the blood. She like him knew that their friend was in trouble.

"Here." Sarah said as he returned with her hands full of pressure bandages. As quickly as she arrived with them April worked on opening the packs as Ethan ripped open Will's jacket to show their friend's scrubs that were swimming in their friend's blood. It was worse than he had first thought. He couldn't even see the wound due to the amount of blood that pooled onto Will's skin.

"Bloody hell." The voice made them all jump, Ethan looked up to see Connor stood there before he jumped into action. He quickly set himself in checking Will's pulse.

"What happened?" He demanded, needing to know what they were dealing with.

"He has been stabbed." Ethan said after a moment of silence, a crowd of people had gathered around them waiting for them to be asked to get something they needed. Ethan had then remembered that it was the first time he had said that outloud.

Connor looked from Will's pale face to Ethan. What the hell had happened? Who would want to stab Will? It was true sometimes the young doctor was a pain but he meant well. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, at this moment he needed to focus on Will's health. Looking at the bloody bandages that Ethan and Sarah had been working on he knew that time was running out. His friend was bleeding out in front of him.

"My god." April whispered taking hold of Will's bloody hand; every bone in her body wanted to make sure that her friend knew that his family was around him. She felt so useless, as she knew that there was nothing she could do to help. She had seen what stab wounds could do to the human body and silently prayed for her friend.

"Get me a gurney now!" Rhodes ordered as he quickly Will's airways to make sure they were not compromised from the stab wound. His relationship with the young doctor had been difficult and he knew that it had been made that way mainly because he had trust issues. But also because he knew the man was smarter than him. He was more keyed into medicine more than he had ever been. Even though he would never admit it, he was jealous of the man.

Will had given him ideas that he would have never thought of and he had quickly defended him when needed but also he wouldn't hide his opinion. He wasn't worried about what he thought of him when he did that but if he was wrong he admitted it. And that had been clear when the firefighter that was brought in, he secretly knew that he should have taken him to surgery but he did want to wait. Wait to see if it would stop, but he might have just risked the man's life.

Soon Maggie and Doris quickly set the gurney ready for them to transport Will into trauma one. Maggie quickly moved away from the crowd and set the other nurses to get trauma one ready with everything they possibly could need. Sadly she found herself unable to take her eyes of the young doctor. He looked too close to death, and even when April had finished hocking him up to the multi-parameter ECG monitor. It was a small comfort to the staff to know that he was still there.

"Damn it." Connor whispered.

"Someone get me a tube, I need to intubate him now." Connor shouted.

He could see that blood was already in Will's trachea and that could only mean that Will's lungs had been damaged. Connor was now flat on his chest as he used the laryngoscope to watch his friend's throat as he pushed the tube down until he could see that it had indeep gone into the lungs. And allowed Doris to bag him, taking over his breathing.

"Ok, lets get him into trauma one. We can't go anything here." Connor called as they got ready to lift Will onto the gurney.

Maggie quickly called Sharon, who she knew was in a meeting with the board. However this was more important, one of their doctors had been stabbed. She had also pager Doctor Charles. One of their own had been attacked and was now fighting for his life. They were going to need someone there to talk too if they needed it. Personally Maggie knew that the news would hit Natalie the worse.

The two doctors might be blind to what chemicals were mixing around them but the whole hospital knew that the two liked each other. And it didn't matter what Nat said, she cared for the annoying red haired doctor. It was just lucky that she wasn't in the ER when he came in.

As Doris, Connor, Ethan and April lifted Will onto the gurney as carefully as they could, on the floor sat a worrying sign. A large pool of their friend's blood now sat directly in front of the desk. Quickly they pushed him into trauma one where everything had been set up to aid their friend.

"Ok, April get an IV access for liquids and blood. And some call the blood bank. We are going to need a lot of O negative." Connor called as he entered the trauma room. They need to work on stopping the bled,and work on stabling Will now before they could take him for a CT.

April nodded and took hold of Will's left arm. And quickly placed the cannula and attached the line that was already filled with a mixture of blood and liquid. April then moved to help in securing the tube that was now breathing for Will.

"CPD are on their way. And so is Will's brother Jay." Maggie said from the doorway. She knew that there was a lot of people already in the room and they needed space to move.

Connor nodded and then moved to see Ethan cutting the remains of Will's scrub top away avoiding the knife wound in the fabric as he knew that it was now evidence. After the scrub top and Will's jacket had been removed and placed in a bag Connor watched as Ethan tried with the bandages to mop up the blood that had stained Will's abdomen before throwing them to the floor.

"I want an bedside x-ray of the chest now." With his words the x-ray machine which had already been placed in the room was set over Will's chest. Lead aprons where thrown over Ethan who was now applying more pressure onto the wound and Doris who was still breathing for Will.

Everyone else stood at a safe difference. Seconds later they had the x-ray and it was not good. The knife had caused a large hemothorax in Will's left lung which explained the blood in the throat. But also the x-rays showed real problems with his diaphragm. There was little he could do without surgery and with the damage he could see he didn't want to go in blind and cause his friend to need more than one surgery that he might not wake up from.

"I need to put in a chest tube now." Connor said as he moved to wash Will's blood off his hands and then allowed April to help him with his apron on with fresh sterile gloves.

As he held the scalpel blade over Will's skin, he found himself stop for a moment and look at the young doctor's face. He snapped back to reality when April called his name, he looked at her and then got to work. Making the long incision, Connor was able to fit the tube quickly and soon it was attached to the machine which sadly was drawing a lot of blood from his friend's chest.

Ethan however was having trouble with the stab wound. It was a thin but deep wound that lit up their friend's bloody skin in the centre of Will's abdomen very close to his lungs and diaphragm.

Been able to see the wound Ethan and Connor both looked at each other at the same time. They had a strange feeling that the knife had gone up into the chest but more likely had gone directly though the diaphragm.

Quickly Rhodes ordered for Will to be taken upstairs for a CT scan, he needed to know where the knife had gone. It had already caused serious damage to his lung but he had a feeling that it had done a lot worse to what they were seeing now.

"Ethan, we need to pack this wound now. We need to slow down this bleeding or he isn't going to make it to the CT." Rhodes said and as quickly as he finished the sentence Ethan and him got to work. They needed to get him stable before they could take him to CT. And they needed a CT to see what was going on or they would be doing in blind.

Ethan had too much experience packing wounds but to do this to his friend was hard. However as he placed the first five packs he found that his friend was just bleeding through them. But as he placed the tenth pack on top of the wound, finally the bleeding seemed to slow.

Connor ripped off his gloves and his apron into the bin and watched as Ethan finished tapping down the packs to stop the bleeding. He looked at the heart monitor that was telling all that their friend was still fighting but it was a little low for their liking. His IV stand stood with over four fresh blood bags that were set to replace their friends lost blood. They all hoped that they would help keep their friend's volume up.

But he also saw the four empty bags already on the floor where they had been thrown when they had been replaced. They had been pushing the blood quick into their friend's body trying to stop him from going into shock. And in this state would cause them to lose him.

"Doctor Rhodes" Ms Goodwin's voice made him turn to see her in the doorway.

"How is he?" she asked. Connor looked back at Will and then rubbed his hand across his face. He knew that the news wasn't good but at least Will was still breathing.

"Get him ready to go to CT." Connor said before stepping out to speak to Ms Goodwin.

"I don't know." Connor said looking back at Will, Doris had now attached him to a ventilator which was needed to keep him breathing when they were in the CT.

As he turned back he saw that they had been joined by Dr Charles, he knew that both of them knew that it wasn't good.

"He has lost a hell of a lot of blood, we are trying to replace it but it is like every time we bump more blood into him he is losing it. I need to get him onto a table and try to stop that bled. It's the only way." Rhodes said. He knew that he could have told them his worries about where the knife could have gone but they didn't need to know those just yet.

"With that much blood loss he couldn't have traveled far. That only means he was stabbed just outside the hospital." Doctor Charles said looking at the scene in the room in front of him.

Ms Goodwin nodded, "Maggie has told me CPD is on their way. Do what you have to do Doctor Rhodes, we do not need to lose a good doctor like him…" She added but before she could finish her sentence they were interrupted by Maggie arguing with someone right behind them.

They found that most of the reception was full of CPD. At Maggie had her hands full with an emotional Detective Halstead who was demanding to see his brother.

"I don't care." Jay was repeating and quickly he got pasted her, Maggie looked towards the three other CPD officers who had not dared get involved.

"Jay…" Rhodes started to say to Jay wanting to stop the young detective from running into the trauma room when they had only just got Will stable and had were nearly ready to move him to CT.

"What happened?" Jay demanded looking at Rhodes who was finding it hard to meet his eyes.

Connor didn't know how to tell Jay what had truthly happened to his brother. He didn't know why it was so hard for him to talk. He had given bad news to people before but he didn't know why this one was so hard.

"Detective, your brother has been stabbed. Other than that we don't know what happened." Ms Goodwin said, seeing that Connor was finding it hard to explain what had happened. This got Jay's attention off Connor.

"What I can tell you is that we are going to do everything in our power to make sure he survives this." She added taking hold of the young man's arm just in case he made a run for the trauma room. She hated this part of the job as she knew that this was the worst possible news to the young detective.

At this moment, April and Doris pushed Will out of the trauma room and made their way to the elevator and to CT. Jay's face grow grey at the sight of his brother, he didn't know what he would do if he lost his older brother. He knew that they hadn't been close for many years but he had started to be thankful that their relationship had started to mend.

"Jay…" Hearing his name he snapped back to the room and looked at Connor. He knew that it was his voice who had said his name.

"...I will do everything to keep Will alive. After the scan I am taking him to the OR. I will get back to you as soon as I can." Connor finished and quickly patterned Jay's arm before heading to follow Will to CT. He had made a promise that he knew he might not be able to keep but he was going to do his best to keep.

Maggie quickly lead Jay to the OR waiting rooms, she knew that Jay wouldn't want to see the mess that now littered trauma one.

...

Ethan ripped off his blood soaked gloves off his hands along with his apron only to see that his hands were already stained red with Will's blood. He remembered that when he had started to work on Will, he hadn't put gloves on till he needed to pack the wound in Will's abdomen. All he had seen was a friend who needed his help.

Every part of him wanted to run after Will and stay with his friend during the CT and then in the OR but he knew that he couldn't.

Now like Will's brother Jay, all Ethan could do was to sit and wait.

However at this moment he needed to get the blood off his hands, without a word to anyone he quickly walked into the doctor's lounge and quickly headed over to the sink that set near the coffee pot.

Turning on the water he soon found himself scrubbing the dried blood off his skin. He couldn't stop rubbing the blood off, it was like every pour in his skin was now filled with his friend's blood. He couldn't tell if the blood wasn't washing off or if the hot water kept his hands red. But he kept at it. He needed to clean himself of his friends blood.

He heard the door to the room open and then close but Ethan didn't pay much attention. All his focus was on washing off his friend's blood from his hands. He had enough blood on his hands, but his friend's blood was killing him.

"I think you're done." A voice came from over his shoulder. Ethan stopped rubbing his hands and placed them on the unit to brace himself. He looked up to see Doctor Charles stood next to him holding a paper towel out for him.

He took it after shutting off the water; he quickly dried his hands on the towel and saw that the blood had truthly gone. He sighed knowing that he had been panicking.

"Ethan you did everything you could for Will. Now he is in the best possible hands and we know Doctor Rhodes will do everything he can to save Will." Dr Charles said.

Ethan turned around still holding on to the unit to keep him up right to see Doctor Charles had sat himself at the table. However he couldn't make eye contact with him, Doctor Charles was one of the few that knew about his PTSD.

"This is not your fault." Dr Charles said, being all to familiar with the look on Ethan's face. He knew the young man was blaming himself, he had seen this before in their chats.

"I just feel so helpless." Ethan said knowing that his emotions were at breaking point.

"If I had gone after him he wouldn't have got stabbed." Ethan said gripping the edge of the unit until he could see his knuckles turning white. Will needed to talk to someone and instead of being that person he had let him go and now his friend was fighting for his life.

"Maybe, but you don't know if that would be true or not." Doctor Charles started. He then sighed and quickly added.

"And you couldn't find out if that would be true as we can't change the past. What we need to do and when I say we I mean us all, what we need to do is to stay strong for our friend and let him know that we are fighting this battle with him." As Dr Charles finished, Ethan nodded.

All any of them could do now is to be there for their friend and make sure that their friend knew that they were there for him.

A soft knock on the door made them both look at who was stood there, April slowly opened the door and looked at them both. Her eyes were red like she had been crying and they both guest that she had been.

"They have taken Will to Will is in theatre now. I don't know how long they will be." She said and her voice also made it clear that she had indeed been crying. Dr Charles nodded to her and gave her a soft smile.

"Also Detective Halstead have called in the rest of the Intelligence Unit to find whoever did this." She added but this time with a little more force as if she was trying to keep herself together.

"Thank you April." He said and Ethan gave her a small smile this time.

Now it was up to Connor to fix Will's wound. But also on Will himself. He had to fight. And they all knew that he had a hard fight ahead of him. And all they could do was to sit back and wait. And pray.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Connor had never timed himself scrubbing up for an op but he had a bet that this time had been his fasted. All the time he had taken to get ready, he had watched as the surgical team prepped Will for his first of many operations. This operation had been set as mainly damage control, his friend needed to stop bleeding out and that was his main goal. He needed to stop the bleeding.

As he entered the room, he felt the room change. Everyone in the room had worked with Will. And some had become friends with him.

Rhodes couldn't help but look at his friend's face every few minutes as he waited for everything to get set in place. His instruments were brought next to him and another rack of blood bags had been set to push as much blood into Will. Machines that told him that his friend was still with them littered near Will's head.

The Anaesthetics Registrar and his team had the worst job, Will's blood pressure and heart rate kept dropping and when they had thought they had stopped him from getting any worse, he did. When he was ready, the main registrar had turned to him and told him outright that he couldn't promise things would go smoothly. But he would try is best.

Connor and to be truthful everyone in the room knew that this operation was going to be the hardest they had ever done. When he got the green light from everyone in the room he got to work unpacking the wound. Only to be greeted to seeing that the packs were now drowning in his friend's blood.

"Suction now." Connor asked unable to see anything. His second quickly started his best to remove the blood to give him a clear field however the blood was only replaced by more blood.

At that moment he heard the door open; he quickly looked up only to see Sam who was already scrubbed him ready for the operation.

"What have we got?" She asked as she got to the other side of the trolley holding her hands up, looking at the wound in front of her which still had a couple of packs around it. As she had walked in, Connor caught her looking at Will's face. He knew that she was checking to see if what she had heard was right. Gossip in the hospital always got its way around like wildfire.

"Single stab wound to the center of the abdomen, scan shows that it has gone right through the diaphragm causing it to collapse. It has caused major bleeding into the chest and abdomen. He had a large hemothorax in his left lung which a chest tube is in place for. We need to clear the blood away from the wound if we have any chance of closing the wound and stopping the bleeding. The scan wasn't clear if the knife got to the heart or not."

At the end of Connor's report, he knew that the one detail he had left out but had made clear that the knife had gone in a upper motion and his fear that the knife tip or more of the blade had gotten to Will's heart.

Sam nodded at the plan; she knew that everyone was going to feel the pressure of helping with this operation. Everyone in the hospital would be waiting for an update on Will's condition but also the hospital bosses when they found out. She looked around the room and said.

"Ok everybody, I know this case is personal but we need to work like normal. He is a patient and that means we give everything we got to keeping him alive." She had also noted that the leads of each department had taken the jobs that they would have given to more junior members of their teams. Only the best for one of their own.

They were going to have a fight on their hands to save the life of someone they worked with and a friend. Sam stepped up to the table and nodded. He reply with a nod and they got to work.

...

When Jay had first been taken to the waiting room by Maggie; he had first chosen to pace the waiting room waiting for news. After ten minutes he had final collapsed into one of the chairs that lined the room. He had been on his way back to the district when he had gotten the call.

He had been surprised that Will had put him down as his emergency contact, they had only just started to mend their broken relationship and yet his brother needed him.

What was worse was the worry that he hadn't been told any details about what had happened to his older brother. All Maggie told him was that he needed to get to the hospital now. And the worry had only grown when he had pulled up to see a sea of police cars already outside.

But when he saw the blood that still remained on the floor just in front of the desk, he knew that it wasn't good. Fear, shock and anger entered his system all at once when Ms Goodwin had told him what had happened. His older brother had been stabbed right outside the hospital and now was fighting for his life.

That anger made him call Voight as soon as his feet had touched the waiting room floor. He wanted whoever had done this to his family to pay. But now that anger had almost gone, and the pain and worry had taken over him. He sat there in a chair to which he had sat before waiting for news of a fallen police officer before. But this time it was his own blood.

He found himself rocking his feet on the chair legs as he waited. He hated the wait. All Jay could think about was watching his brother covered in blood being wheeled away from him. He had been deadly pale. He had seen that before with people who hadn't survived their wounds and that scared him. His only hope that he had left was the knowledge that his brother was one to fight, he would fight to live.

On the phone to Voight, his Sergeant had told him that they would drop every case they were currently working on to catch the guy. He also promised that they would get to the hospital as soon as they could. Jay had already seen a forensic team arrive the same time as him.

However the one thing that Voight made sure was drilled into the wound man's head was that he was not to try to find where his brother was attacked or start working on who had tried to kill his brother. Jay had started to argue with Voight, saying that this case was personal. Someone had gone after his brother. But Voight had made it clear that he wasn't allowed anywhere near the case.

As Jay waited for news, his mind had already started to play tricks with him. Images of what the attack might have looked like haunted him. Had there been one attacker or had a gang targeted him, seeing who could kill him first. But the main thing that had crossed his mind was the idea of his brother been targeted because of him. Had he sent his brother to hell because of something he had done?

Both of them had taken self-defence when they had been younger and he knew very well that Will could defend himself when he needed too. But unlike him Will had no military experience. He had been involved in fights but never ones that meant he was fighting for his life. Maybe if he had taught him how to defend himself this wouldn't have happened.

Will's job shouldn't come with these risks. Jay knew that but at the same time he had seen the darkness in the world for too long and knew that everyone was a victim. And sadly, this time it had been his brother who had taken the hit.

The sound of a door opening brought him out of his thought; he looked up to see Natalie walk in. Everyone knew that his brother and her liked each thought back to when Will had started talking about her to him. It was normally little comments about her but he could tell that his brother really liked her. The whole hospital knew that the pair liked each other. Everyone expect them.

As he looked at her more closely he noticed that her eyes were red and swollen as if she had been crying. She quickly rubbed her eyes once more before coming to sit next to him.

"Have you heard anything?" She asked barely whispering, her voice also told him that she had been crying for a while and her voice had become harsh.

"Nothing yet." Jay said shaking his head, he had wanted to tell her that his brother was a pain and love to keep people waiting but he didn't have the heart. His brother was fighting, fighting to stay alive.

"He is a fighter, always has been." Jay muttered looking back at his hands. Growing up in their house, they needed to be. However this time Will had more to fight for. Their father had never been a fan of Will becoming a doctor, being ex-military himself he had planned for both of his sons joining up like he did but that wasn't Will.

Will had never been one to pick a fight, hell he was the smartest kid in their school. Jay would have never passed as many of his classes if it hadn't been for his older brother. But unlike him Will knew what he wanted to do and that was to help people. To train as a doctor and it had also been the reason why he had left for New York.

Their mother had wanted what was best for her sons and had been proud of Will to get into medical school. And she had tried to help him the best she can however she wouldn't help pay his way through it. He had to do that himself. Their father seem to never approve and told him clearly that he wasn't spending his money on something that was just a waste of time.

Jay hated the man for that, Will had made something of his life and he could never understand how Will could just forgive the man like he did? Jay had refused to visit or even speak to his father after Will left. And only when he had too, a few times he had to bail him out of jail for doing something stupid. Those moments he hadn't told Will, nor did he plan too. But his brother was forgiving, he had always been that since a kid. And personally he knew that Will had forgiven him for a lot of things over the years. Some things Jay had regretted the moment he had done them.

Natalie nodded; she new that Will could fight. She had seen it. She had seen it when he was dealing with his patients as it wasn't just a fight for them. He fought alongside them. And he took their losses as his own.

She hated herself so much at the moment. She had started to fall for the headstrong Chicago boy the moment she had meet him. There was something about him; his smile and laugh always made her smile. However she had first thought that her feelings were wrong, like she was cheating on her dead husband. Which was why she never told him what she felt. She kept it buried.

When the feelings had become so strong that she couldn't ignore them anymore, she left horrible. She had just lost Jeff, and was about to have his son. She couldn't love him when was still deeply in love with Jeff and grieving him at the same time.

However when Owen had been born and she had expected that she needed to move on, she couldn't think of a better man than Will. He had been so kind to her with everything. He was brilliant around her son and had been there to help her from the moment he was born.

She had found that with Will, she didn't need to pretend anything. There was a connection that became even more stronger when they were together, and when they were apart all she could think about was where he was. That connection because even more stronger when she had been in labour. All she could think about was that she needed Will. She wanted Will but he never came. After Owen had made himself known and was fast asleep, all she only guessed that he might have thought that he wasn't welcome.

But even after the birth she couldn't make herself tell him how she felt. It never seemed to be the right timing, but now she was worried that maybe she would never get a chance to tell him how much he meant to her. To her and Owen.

"How's Owen?" Jay asked looking at her, the silence was killing him. And since he had never meet the little man that Will had never stopped talking about. Natalie at first was shocked at the question; for one she didn't think Will's younger brother would even know her son's name but she could only guessed that like before Will had talked about her to his brother.

"He is good." She started, glad to be talking about something good. "He is sleeping through finally but that is thanks to Will." She said without thinking; it was like having a normal conversation about her son to a friend, but she knew that it had been Will who had saved her from some very stressful and restless nights.

For a few months, Owen hadn't been sleeping very well. And working in the ED and having little sleep had nearly wiped her out. One night by chance, she had forgotten her coat and had planned to call Helen to see if she wouldn't mind watching Owen when she went and got it. She had booked the week off and had planned many day trips for Owen. But as she went to pick up the phone, there was a knock on the door.

And there he was, he had noticed it when he had been leaving and knew that she would need it. However he then understood why she had been in what he classed as a bad mood. Owen was not at all going to sleep. Quickly he had offered her his help; she didn't want to stop him from enjoying his night. She had heard him planning to meet his brother at Molly's. However he told her that his brother could wait.

She had watched him take a screaming Owen into his arms from his cot and started to rock him gentle. And then quickly ordered her to go and grab something to eat and to grab a shower. She smiled and thanked him promising that she would be as quick as she could. And that she was, she quickly made a sandwich and ate it as she turned the shower on and got her towel from the radiator.

She quickly checked on Will and found Owen smiling at the doctor like it was christmas day. She smiled at the image, Owen loved Will and that had been clear from the first time the pair had seen each other. But as the warm water hit her face, she remembered that Will wasn't Owen's father and that her son would grow up not knowing his real father. Jeff would have been much like Will. He would have loved playing with his son. She felt a tear fall from her face. She never wanted to feel like she was replacing Jeff, but at the same time she knew that Jeff had told her one night before he was deployed that he wanted her to move on if anything happened to him.

Twenty minutes later she had walked into the sitting to find it empty. Fear filled her heart in that moment but it disappeared when she heard Will's voice in Owen's nursery. Will was stood in front of Owen's cot with the little man fast asleep in Will's arms.

Natalie couldn't work out what Will was saying but knew that he was singing a lullaby to her son. She had no idea that he could sing but as he sang softly to her son she found herself smiling. Later she worked out that he had been singing in Latin. Will had never known that she had seen this as she had quickly went back into the kitchen as soon as he had placed the sleeping baby in the cot.

Snapping back to the present, she wished she had said something to Will.

"Yer, Will has always been good with kids." Jay said with a smile, thinking back to his brother. Even as kids, Will had always been good with younger kids. When they played in the street, it was Will that had got the other kids involved. Will would be a great father if he ever settled down. However his brother had partied for most of his life but deep down he knew that like him, Will was waiting for the right girl. Personally, Jay knew that he had already but the idiot couldn't see what was right in front of him.

The pair fell silent for a while, both thinking about Will. And silently praying that he was holding his own. What was worse for Natalie was that she, like Jay, could only guess the injuries that he had suffered. She had just entered the ER when she had seen the state of trauma one and then to learn from Maggie and April that the blood that was painted over the floor was Will's blood.

The silence was only broken by the door opening, however it wasn't the floor that lead to the operating rooms. Instead they saw Erin, Antonio and Voight coming towards them, Erin quickly grabbed Jay's hand and sat next to her partner. She could feel that her partner was close to losing all control of his emotions. And she had learned that when family was involved the anger was the worst.

"Any news if Will?" Voight asked sitting in the seat opposite to Jay, he could tell that his young detective was angry, and that the anger was very close to the surface along with all the other emotions that were stirring in the young man.

Voight had only meet the young doctor a few times but he liked him. He had dropped everything and had helped him save the life of someone he cared about without even a second thought. But what impressed him the most was that by law the doctors were meant to report any bullet wounds. And as Will had told him when Jay was taking him home was that in his eyes he had reported to the law. However knew that there was going to be no paperwork for it and that along risked his own job but also his license.

Jay shook his head, and looked directly at his Sergeant. "Do you know who did this?" As he said those words he saw something in his Sergeant's eyes. He knew something. Jay glared at his Sergeant who now couldn't meet his eyes. Jay then turned his head to Antonio who did meet his eyes but the look he could see wasn't good.

"Uniform found where Will was attacked, it was a little courtyard at the side of the hospital…" Antonio started watching both his friend and Voight, he knew that if they told Jay too much, he would want to be involved and speaking from experience getting involved in a case that was too personal never ended well.

"We had Mouse pull up all the CCTV footage from the area to see if we could track Will. And from that we have a clear picture on who attacked him." Antonio added now looking directly at Jay who had let go of Erin's hand and was now gripped the edge of his seat. Natalie didn't say a word. She couldn't.

"Who?" Jay asked barely able to control his anger as it came wrapped around his voice when he asked.

Antonio looked at Voight who nodded. He knew that it wouldn't keep secret for long and more so when they had asked Ms Goodwin to ID the man she had removed from the hospital. And that they had more likely been overheard.

"The attacker was possibly a man named Jason Andrew Walker." Antonio started letting the words sink in. Natalie couldn't help but gasp, she knew the name and knew now why Will had been attacked. However it only made her feel like Will could never catch a brake.

"A couple of hours ago he brought in his wife, Sarah with their son Alex. She had been complaining of having dizzy spells. Will was the doctor signed to the case; after speaking to the other doctors on shift, he was running tests when her heart gave in." Jay closed his eyes for a minute as Antonio stopped. He knew that his brother would blame himself for the woman's death. He always took loss personal.

"Autopsy found that she had an unidentified heart condition. And that she was a ticking time bomb. One minute she was fine and the next she was dead." Jay opened his eyes and looked at Antonio, he knew what was coming and he felt the anger grow again inside him.

"From what we got from the nurses and the other doctors, after Will called time of death, Mr Walker blamed Will for his wife's death. Saying that he didn't do enough to save her in time. Ms Goodwin and security made him leave after making threats. We have police looking for him now." As Antonio finished Jay crushed his hands into fists.

Everyone sat in silence for a minute. Natalie's face was cut from her tears running down her face. She had been the one to stop Will from trying to bring Sarah Walker back. She was gone and they all knew it but Will didn't want to stop. He wanted to save her for her little boy who had sadly seen the whole thing. At the age of eleven, he had seen his mother die.

"Are you tell me…" Jay started as he felt the anger grow now to dangerous levels. "... that my brother was attacked because he couldn't save someone?" Jay said in a threatening tone.

Erin placed her hand on his leg to try her best to calm him, however as she did Jay shot his leg away from her. It was like he had been touched by a red hot knife as the anger had now started to rage in his body.

Voight knew the signs that Jay was losing control of his emotions and knew that he needed to get his detective's mind off hunting the person who had tried to kill his brother. He knew that anger and knew that it would in the end cause more pain than good.

"Jay, we will get this guy. And he will pay for that he has done." Voight started to stay, catching Jay's eye. And then added the words that he knew would keep Jay far away from the search.

"What I need you to do is stay here with your brother…" At his words, Jay opened his mouth to argue that he wanted to caught Walker himself. But before Jay could interrupt him Voight added.

"...I have a feeling that Walker when he finds out your brother is alive will come back and finish the job." Voight said sending a warning look at his detective.

Jay nodded but didn't unclench his hands. The anger was still there, but at least he now could put that anger to use. And Voight was right, even if he couldn't help find the bastard that had attacked his brother he knew that now he had a task he could focus on. Will was still in danger and when he did wake up he needed protection. Walker wouldn't get anywhere near his brother again and if he did, he wouldn't be responsible for his actions.

Voight knew that his message had got through Jay. Standing quickly he turned to Erin who was now looking at him hoping that he wouldn't make her leave Jay alone.

"Erin you stay here with Jay, and work with uniform to get Will secure. The rest of us will find Walker. You have my word." Voight said patting Jay's shoulder before leaving with Antonio close behind him.

Jay was in his own world now. At first it was about what he would do if he got his hands on Walker. But then it fell back to how he was going to get Will to expect that the woman's death wasn't his fault.

He didn't even hear Erin get up and tell him that she was going to speak to security and get the uniform officers that were going to be assigned to Will's protection team. He knew that his brother would be blaming himself for not doing enough to save the woman in his care. But he hoped that his brother was fighting to come back to him. Even when he felt that he had failed.

But now he knew that he would do everything in his power to make sure that no one could hurt his brother again. He had lost his brother once and he wasn't going to let it happen again. Not on his watch.

After five minutes, the door opened again but it wasn't the door that would give them news. Instead Ethan and Dr Charles walk into the waiting room, Natalie softly smiled at Ethan who held her shoulder before taking Voight's seat looking at Natalie to Jay.

"Any news?" Ethan asked looking at Jay, hoping that there would be news by now. Dr Charles just stood by the door watching the two doctors and the young and very clearly an angry detective.

"No. Nothing yet." Natalie said seeing that Jay couldn't talk or was afraid that he would start shouting. Instead he just looked at the floor to the door, not making eye contact with anyone. He was now tired of waiting. All he could do was pray that someone would come and tell him if his brother had survived.

"I should have gone after him…" Ethan said looking at his hands who were shaking a little but not too much that it wasn't noticeable.

Jay looked up at the doctor in front of him. Natalie wanted to say something but the words wouldn't come.

"...I could have stopped this." Ethan muttered quietly but in the quiet waiting room., they all heard it. Dr Charles moved towards Ethan ready to correct the doctor but seeing what he was doing Ethan spoke up.

"No… I knew that he was upset. That case hit him hard and then for the husband to go and threaten Will…" At Ethan's words, Jay looked up confused at the doctor's words. The one thing that he could guess was that Ethan had taken it upon himself to look out for his brother and now felt like he had failed him. Just like he had.

"Or you could also be killed or hurt too. Nothing would have stopped this. He would have gone after Will here or later on…" Jay had interrupted Ethan's rant. But then he stopped as images infected his mind of Will bleeding out in some alley or on his apartment floor.

"He is just lucky that he was able to get help." Jay then added giving Ethan a stern look. His brother would have never forgive himself if someone else had gotten hurt because of him. And his brother had enough guilt on him at the moment anymore could possibly make him see that there was no point in fighting.

Jay also knew that Will had a good friend in front of him and would kill him for making his friend hate himself and blame himself for actions that they had no control over. However that didn't mean that he couldn't blame himself for not being there for his brother like he should have been.

Dr Charles smiled softly at the young detective and could see that his words had affected Ethan very well. They were soon joined by April who quickly sat next to Natalie without a word. Nat knew that it was time for her break and didn't blame her for wanting to be with them waiting for news.

Silence filled the room again until they heard the sound of the door opening again and Erin and Maggie joined them but instead of sitting down Erin called Jay's name. Looking up he saw the doors to the operating room open. Connor looking tired and stress was marked deep in his face.

They all quickly got to his feet and at the same time and moved towards Connor.

"How is he?" Jay asked as soon as Connor meet them hoping and praying that his brother had fought for him but more importantly for himself.

Rhodes sighed and looked at his friend's brother. He liked Jay but didn't know how the young detective was going to deal with the news he had to tell. He also could see the worry on everyone's faces. However he looked directly at Jay to answer his question and he knew that Jay was not going to like it.

"I am not going to lie to you Jay…" Rhodes started knowing that they were not going to like what he was going to tell them. But he had no choice, they needed to know.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Jay could feel his heart in his mouth when Connor had started to speak. He had the gut feeling that his world could possibly be starting to crash down around him. And he had started to whole his breath as he heard Connor's words. Had he just lost his brother all over again?

"...Will lost a lot of blood." Connor started and then looked at the room in front of him. Normally reporting news to the hard for him but this was different. This time it was a friend.

"He crashed twice on the table…" At Connor's words, Jay felt his heart race, "...but luckily we were able to bring him back…" He quickly added knowing that the news would come as a huge blow.

Jay's mind was working twice as fast as normal, running though all emotion and knowledge that he could think about his brother's heart stopping twice. But in the end he knew that Connor hadn't told him his brother was dead, so he could only guess that Will was still with them.

Ethan could only look at the floor, the blame he felt was now only increasing as time went on. Maybe if he had gone after Will, he would have found his friend before he had lost too much blood. And maybe that would have allowed him more time to get Will into more of a stable state before he would have to take in theatre.

Maggie didn't know how to feel, she was like an older sister to the young and sometimes cheeky doctor. But know she needed to be strong, not only for herself but for everyone. And more so for Natalie. Natalie was shaking, physically. Maggie wrapped her arm around Natalie, and held April's hand. It was the only comfort she could give. However she knew in her heart that Natalie couldn't lose someone she loved, not after losing Jeff. She just couldn't.

Connor took in another breath and looked down at his chart not breaking eye contact with Jay.

"...The knife entered in the center of Will's the diaphragm causing it to collapse. It then traveled in a upwards fashion hitting the left lung and then in the same motion the tip of the knife the pericardial sac…"

The doctors and the nurses knew the term only to well. However for Jay, he didn't know what Connor was saying.

"English Conner." Jay demanded.

"the tip of the knife hit the sack that surrounded the heart…" Connor spat out quickly, using medical terms was one way that made this news a little easier. However he should have known that he was also explain Will's injuries for Jay.

"...This allowed blood to pool in his chest and his abdomen making it hard to breathe for him." At Connor's words, Jay felt like his legs were going to give way. He knew the technique Connor was talking about. Someone had stabbed his brother and had pushed the blame towards his heart. He had used it himself overseas. In both defence and attack but this time it had been used to nearly kill his only brother.

"Oh my god." Natalie whispered, and suddenly found herself been steered back into a chair by Maggie and April.

Connor waited till Maggie gave him the ok before starting again. "As you can tell, Will's injuries are life threatening. We have made the repairs that we needed to but that is just damage control. He was too unstable to make all the repairs that he needed so we will need to go back in when he is in a more stable. All we can do now is to try to replace the blood he has lost and keep him pain free. But the rest of it is up to him." Connor finally finished not meeting anyones eyes as he ran his hands over his hair.

He wanted to tell them all that Will was going to survive and would be back been a pain in the neck in no time but he couldn't. Will's only hope was if he had the strength to fight on.

Jay nodded at Connor's last statement and allowed himself to be pushed into a chair by Erin. He knew that Connor was right, they had done everything they could to medically help his brother but now it was up to Will. He had to fight to stay alive.

But he also knew his brother, he had seen Will drag himself down so much lately and that scared him. Will took a lot of things to heart, and things seem to get on top of him if he let them. And more so when he thought he had failed someone.

Connor looked at Jay and then waited for the young detective to make eye contact again. "We are moving him to the ICU in a few minutes. He is on a ventilator until his lung heals and we can be sure he can breathe on his own. After that we will move on from there."

Jay nodded, he guessed from the sight he had seen his brother in before that Will wasn't able to breath on his own. But that only meant that his brother had a lot more problems to deal with then he started his recovery.

"However I need to make sure you understand Jay. Will is in a critical condition for the next few hours or many even days. And he could become worse at any moment. We will have to keep a very close eye on him." Connor saw Jay nod, and could only wish that he could have told Jay that Will was going to be ok.

Jay had heard this speech before and knew how seriously injured his brother was. But now all he wanted to do was to see him, to make sure for himself that his brother was indeed still breathing.

Even though him and Will had their differences, and Will sometimes drove him mad, they were brothers. If anyone tried to hurt the other they were quick to defend each other, it didn't matter if that was now or when they were younger. They looked out for each other. But now, with his job Jay had developed one fear. His greatest fear was someone targeting Will because of him.

The drive to see his brother, made him stand and look directly at Connor. "When can I see him?"

Will was the only family he had left, since he didn't talk or want to be in the same headspace as his dad.

He also knew that he was now on protection detail, Voight had been right. The man Walker had used a technique that normally always killed, and for that fact his brother's survival was a miracle in itself. He needed to see his brother now and not later.

"I can take you up to the ICU when he is settled in the room. But only two people can be in the room at once, this is mainly to lower the risk of infection. In Will's condition even a small infection could kill him." Connor answered before turning when one of the nurses opened the door and called him back through.

""I will come and get you when you can come and see him." Connor quickly told Jay and headed with the nurse up the hallway.

Maggie and April were sat with Natalie as the minutes rolled on after Connor had left, all three of them talked in low voices. Maggie and April were trying their best to make sure that Natalie was ok but also to comfort her with the horrible news that they had just heard.

Ethan turned to see that Sarah was stood next to the door of the waiting room. He knew that she was worried and overwhelmed with everything that had happened. She was still a student and she had been thrown in the deep end with what she had seen and now had heard. Heading ready to leave the waiting room, she patted her on her shoulder.

"You did good." He said trying to smile, but couldn't. Not with what he had been told. However he could not ignore the fact that she had rushed to help him when Will had collapsed. But now Ethan needed to be alone. He needed to get back to the ER, and help save other people that he knew Will could of help save. And he knew that Sarah quickly followed him.

Jay then moved to follow Connor but instead he dropped himself into one of the chairs closer to the door. He needed to see his brother. Erin slowly moved to sit next to him and quickly placed her hand over his. It was the only comfort she could give him.

Erin knew that she had no idea what Jay was going through. She may have lost her step mom when she had lived with Voight or when Teddy left but she had never been where Jay was now. But that didn't stop her from worrying. Will was the complete opposite to Jay. Jay was the quiet brother when Will was the more outgoing of the pair. But they were good for each other.

Will had helped Jay to come out of his shell more and when he had found out that Will was going to stay around, it was the first time she had seen him truly happy. Jay also seem to be more relaxed when his brother was around him. It was like she could see his armour relax when Will was close to him.

Jay couldn't lose Will again. She remembered staying up late talking to Jay about his brother after he had been caught up in the bombing at Med. She had never seen him so jumpy in her life. Weeks after the attack, Jay had got into the habit of texting or calling Will whenever he got the chance just to see if he was ok. But now she didn't know what would happen if Will didn't make it. And how Jay would react to that news.

Dr Charles watched the people in the room closely. They were a family and like everyone else he was seriously worried about Will. He had seen the young doctor at work. At times he noted that he did become very stressed about his cases and angry when he failed to save someone. However most of all, he had noticed that the young doctor also seem to bottle a lot of his feelings up and lock them away. Will seem to walked around with a very thick armour of humour or silence.

He never really show his real feelings. And when he did was when they had reached breaking points. However there were three people that knew the real Will.

One was his younger brother Jay. He had seen the pair at Molly's and had noted that the pair seem to relax when in each other's company. He knew from gossip he had heard, that the pair had not always been close but after Will had returned to Chicago their relationship had stronger as strong as it had ever been.

The second person who had seen Will's emotion was Maggie. He had seen that the nurse had become like an older sister to Will over the months he had started at Med. Maggie had even taken him to a family party, and had started to make sure that Will was ok every time he came in but at the same time had the cheeky comments only told between siblings.

The last was Natalie. She, for only one reason he could think of, was the only outside that he trusted immediately with the true him. When she had joined them at Med, he had seen that the two doctors seem to work very well together. Also she was the one that could break him out of his silent moments when it seemed that the young doctor was calling close to the edge.

With one more look at the room in front of him, he turned leaving them to find Sharon. He had a feeling that since Doctor Rhodes had not written up his notes from his operation she would need to be told the length of Will's injuries. But he also knew that he needed to tell her his concerns about the long term effect this was going to have on them all.

To Jay the wait felt like forever. However his forever was only twenty minutes till Connor came back to take him to his brother. At first he didn't hear his name was too far inside his own thought that he couldn't hear anything around him. That was until Erin shook his shoulder. He looked up to see Connor stood in front of him, with a chart in his hand.

"Will is settled in his room, I can take you up now." Jay quickly got to his feet and nodded waiting for Connor to start moving so he could follow. As they set off Erin quickly followed along with April and Natalie. Maggie had to return to the ER as she had gotten word of a car crash and they had casualties on the way.

As the moved towards the ICU, Jay tired to rid his mind of the images that showed his brother laying on a hospital bed bleeding to death. He was also at the same time trying to prepare himself for the sight that he was about to see. And he knew that it wasn't going to be good.

Erin followed her partner closely, she was on the protection detail for Will. And Jay had been added to that list so the hospital couldn't throw them out. And with the risk of Walker coming back, she had made sure that every officer who had been assigned to the detachment knew who Will was. If anyone went after a police officer family, it was the same as if they went after the officer themselves. But personally she thought to herself, ' _As if they could get Jay to leave his brother when he knew he was in danger.'_

Natalie allowed April to lead her towards the ICU, she knew the way well enough but for some reason she couldn't get her legs to take her there under their own stream. Natalie wanted to see Will. She needed too. When Ethan had described Will's injuries to her and then listening to Connor's notes on the operation she knew that it was bad. But like Jay she needed to see Will alive

With everyone needed back in in the ER, Natalie knew that they would be up to see Will in their own time. However Natalie had a feeling that Ethan would be up whenever he had a free minute along with Maggie. They both needed to see their friend was getting better, even if it meant going in every hour of their shift.

Connor lead them into the ICU but stopped before they got to Will's room. He turned and looked directly at Jay. He knew, from reading Will's medical records that Jay was his next of kin but also his medical proxy. However he also knew that he was addressing them all.

"I am not going to lie to you Jay, he looks a lot worse than he really is. And he is in critical condition. He also lost a lot of blood so he looks pale…" But before Connor could finish, Jay cut him off.

"I know. I just need to see him." Jay said, he knew that his voice was now showing the pain that he was feeling inside and knew that if he spoke any more his voice would crack.

Connor knew that look, there was nothing that would stop Jay from seeing Will. The look of determination, he got it enough from Will when they were trying to do something. With a nod, he opened the door to allow Jay entry to the room as Natalie and April went to the window.

Jay took a step inside before he froze. Everyone did. April grabbed hold of Natalie's hand as they looked in on the scene in front of them.

On a hospital bed, lay a pale shell of their friend. Will lay with tubes and lines running from his body. To Jay, the person in the bed wasn't his brother. It was just a shell.

Jay took one more step into the room but couldn't stop the tears from scaring his face. His older brother, the one that was always lively and making jokes was laying pale in a hospital bed close to death. But the question that was swimming around his mind was a simple one, how long would Will fight for before he gives up?

Sadly, he didn't have the answer. No one did.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Jay just wanted to be alone with his brother; the outside world did not matter to him anymore. His entire focus was on his on his brother and it had to be. He now was the only protection his brother had from any threat that still remained. But the worst part of this whole situation was that he knew that he couldn't be alone with his brother, his brother had his own world and friends that also needed to see him.

But more importantly, Jay knew that Natalie needed to see Will. His brother had normally never truthly fallen for someone before and this bad. He cared deeply for Nat, and Jay found it funny that his brother's love for a girl would keep him in the city that they grew up. However there was a down side to that, Jay couldn't get his brother to shut up about her.

Will had told him that Nat's husband had died overseas and from his own personal experiences he knew that losing someone can break even the strongest of people. And to make it worse, was that she was carrying her husband's son.

Jay had been worried that Will would get heart broken if he had ever acted on his feelings and he would yet again lose his brother. But he could tell when he meet her that she cared very much for his brother. That the feelings that Will had for her was meet with the same. He just hoped that his brother, when he woke up, had the strength to finally ask her out.

But at the same time, Jay knew that Natalie couldn't lose someone else she cared and that if they did loss Will, life would unbearable for both of them. Jay however knew that Will knew this, and his only hope was that his brother would fight to get back to her so they both could be honest about their feelings.

But until then, he had a job to do. A job that meant keeping his older brother safe and for that he needed to remain strong. However at the same time it felt like the world was slowly crashing around him. Jay, with a deep breath, moved closer to his brother's bed. Watching as his wounded brother slept in a land without pain.

Jay didn't want to believe that it was his older brother lying there in the bed. The shell of a body, was not the Will he knew. The only thing that allowed him to knew that this was indeed his brother was his dark red hair that laid on his brother's pillow at different angles like it normally did.

Will had geled it back when he returned from New York and had kept it cut short where it looked dark brown. But when he returned home, Will had gone back to liking it think that. His red curls had returned. Like their mothers.

That small thing, may comfort many but not him. What worried him was the fact that his brother was deadly pale. He was white, almost grey. His skin held hardly any health colour. It was like all the energy seem to have been drained from his brother's face and arms.

When he had been with the Rangers, he had seen this before. He had seen his fellow ranger and a lot more civilians that pale before when he was working overseas and the outcome was normally never good. It was commonly said that if a ranger looked that pale then they normally sent home in a body bag. Only a lucky few made it to the base hospital but then again only a hand full of them survived.

A moment from the corner of his eye snapped him out of the thought. That wasn't going to happen here. And not to his older brother. His brother was a Halstead, and Halstead men were hard to kill. Whatever nearly killed them always made them stronger.

Jay moved next to his brother's bed and took Will's pale hand in his. He was cold. And they matched his face, his skin was pale white with only a hit of pigment. He needed to look away but as he glanced up he saw Connor looking at one of the machines that was connected to Will. He regretted as now he noted what was running into and off his brother's broken body.

The first thing he noticed when he walked in was the thick white tube that ran down his brother's throat. Jay could follow the tube into the large machine to his brother's right where a machine sat pushing oxygen into his brother's weakened lungs softly. The other machines sat dotted around his brother's head. Some showing his brother's heart rate, oxygen percentage and blood pressure.

Next to the machines were tall metal IV poles, some contacted bags of clear liquid pushing fluids and nutrients into his brother's arm. The pole closest to the heart monitor was full of fresh blood bags. The lines that were pushed into the bags ran down into Will's skin. Pushing the thing that his brother needed the most as quickly as they could. And it seemed to be working, Jay could see a small pink tinge that has started to appear on his brother's lips. A positive clue that whatever Connor had done was working and that his brother was slowly but clearly moving back to the world of the living.

Erin had entered the room the same time as Connor, she didn't even notice what he was doing as all her focus was on the two Halstead brothers. But more so on her partner. Out of the year and a half she had worked with Jay she had never been able to fully read Jay's face. She could only guess that with his military training, he had been taught to hide his emotions. But one thing was clear was to her, family was everything to him. And knowing that someone had tried to kill a member of that family was destroying him. She could see it.

As Jay took hold of Will's hand, Erin could see the pair more clearly. The sight of someone she cared about on a hospital bed made her think back to Camille. She felt like she was back in that hospital room, watching as her step mom died right in front of her. Emotion hit her all at once, she could only watch as someone she cared about went through that pain again.

But she couldn't sit there, praying for Will to survive when she had a job to do. Now Will was set up in his own room, she knew that it was her job to set up where the officers were going to be placed in order to protect Will. She turned out of the room and headed to speak to the Sergeant in charge of Will's protective team.

April watched as Erin left the room, and sighed. She hated seeing anyone like this however when it was someone she cared about, it made her feel a lot worse. But also knowing that he was still in danger made her stomach turn.

It is true that sometimes Dr. Halstead drove her mad and sometimes she wanted to kill him but at the same time she could tell that he cared. Sometimes a little too much. He was gentle when it came to his patients and was quick to the mark to protect the people he worked with and also the patients they treated. However what was clear to her and to everyone else was that he was crazy about Natalie.

However there was something about the young doctor what had showed her that there was more than what meets the eye with him. She could tell Will would fight for every person he could. And work on making them feel better, both physically and mentally.

But with all that work, she had seen him break. Slowly but definitely break down. Things got to him and the cracks in his armour would show more clearly. However he never stopped trying. Even if it meant going against the rules. And he had a habit of it.

Natalie couldn't look at Will without it feeling like a knife to the heart. She had seen her patients look like that before however she had never seen someone she cared about be in the same position.

Will was lying there deadly pale and she couldn't help herself as her mind took her back to seeing Jeff. He reminded her of Jeff. The only difference was that Will was still there, still alive. But she could see the small hint of pigment that was slowly appearing over Will's features. However she knew that from a medical point of view; that Will had a fight to go through before they could say if he would make a full recovery.

When she looked at Will's pale face, she could feel her heart fall closer and closer to the knife edge. She couldn't lose another person she cared about. Not again. She had already attended the funeral of her husband and best friend. She couldn't go through another one. And she knew that she couldn't lose Will.

She watched as Jay ran his hand across Will's hair, it was the only thing that remained the same as before. She had noticed that the two brothers were close and the way she had seen the pair in Molly's or at the hospital, she knew that they acted like they were the only family each other had left or cared about.

She looked closer at Will's face, he looked so young. He didn't have the look he had wore most days, this was how he truthly looked. Not the joker or the serious doctor. But the young man he still was. Will had always tried to hide how he felt, and only when his emotions got the better of him did he show them.

However now, she could see the pain that was written clearly across Will's pale face. And from his eyes she could see that tears had cut into his face, she could only guess why those tears had fallen.

She knew that after what had happened with his last patient that Will would believed that he had this coming. That he was to blame for not saving her. That he should have spotted the signs that weren't there in order to save the woman's life. However she like everyone knew that nothing could have stopped her from dying. He wasn't to blame and he didn't deserve this.

Will was doing his job, and he had tried his best to save her. He wasn't even the doctor that called Mrs Walker. She had. They had to stop him from performing CPR on her; he wasn't giving up. But they all knew that she was already gone. Nothing could have changed that.

It just didn't seem fair. None of it did.

Will had fought for her and now he was fighting to save his own life. He was already blaming himself and now the woman's husband had stabbed him in the heart. Like he hadn't been bleeding enough guilt.

And now, all they could do was sit back and hope that he was strong enough to pull through. She slowly leaving April entered the room and moved to the other side of Will from Jay. Connor had moved to the foot of the bed, updating Will's notes.

They all knew that Jay was not going to leave Will. Not now. Sadly, they had too. Even when the one thing that all wanted to do was to stay by their friend's side.

Natalie looked down and slowly too Will's cold hand in hers. She could feel the cold skin touch her warm hand and hoped that he would feel her there. Feel that she wasn't going to leave him, and that she would be with him every step of the way.

She knew that Will was fighting, she could see it in him. He was fighting to live, to come back to her. But she knew that he was also dealing with his own guilt. They needed Will to live, all of them. Owen couldn't lose anymore family. And neither could she.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Jay had lost all track of the time. The light from the windows had slowly turned dark and the room seem to be now lite with the ceiling lights. The city had also brightened with the lights from the buildings. So he knew that it was late evening or even early morning.

But that didn't matter, he knew where he needed to be. Natalie and Connor had left him alone with his brother, Connor had left after updating the charts. But Natalie left after only a few minutes of holding his brother's hand.

He had heard Connor tell him that he would be back to check on Will but as he was on call he needed to get back to the ER. But he didn't hear much else than that. Nurses had been in and out of the room to check on Will but after checking that they weren't a threat, he didn't pay them much attention.

They had spoken to him a few times however after not saying a word they quickly left. He couldn't speak. All the normal sounds that he would normally pick up now seem to be drowned out, like he was under water. All he could hear was the sound of the hospital machines keeping his older brother alive.

It was so odd for him to be in this position. In his line of work he had always thought that it would be him in the hospital bed and Will sat next to him. Waiting for news on if he would live.

It just that he had survived so much violence that it was cruel twist of faith that it would be his brother that was the one fighting for his life. He had been shot at, survived war zones and the streets of Chicago as a police officer and yet it was his brother who was here.

He now was sat in an uncomfortable hospital chair waiting for his older brother, who kept himself out of trouble and was never involved in fight, to wake up.

And he was there because some bastard had blamed him for not saving a life which he couldn't save. He knew his brother and knew that Will would have been blaming himself enough without anyone else adding to that guilt. And then for the husband had threatened his brother; only made it worse.

That was one of the main differences between him and his older brother. Will might not slow his true emotion that well but he wore his heart on the sleeve. He was kind and cared for everyone, even when they didn't deserve it.

That was also one of the reasons why Will and their father had such an odd relationship and never seem to get on. And one that Jay could never forgive his father for. He liked that his brother cared about others, he did too but he had been hardened by what he had seen.

Will was so much like their mother, and losing her hit them all hard. Their father had taken the death to their mother hard. Will might have not been there when it happened but it affected him greatly.

However the relationship between Will and their father took the greatest hit. Will had tried to keep them all close, knowing that it would be what their mother would have wanted. Jay couldn't easily forgive their father after what had happened the day of their mother's funeral. Nor could he understand how Will could.

The news of their mother's death wasn't unexpected. But still it hurt like all losses. Will returned home a few days after getting the news from one of his adventures. He had been taking a lot of trips overseas after finishing med school.

He had left the day after they had gotten the news that their mother's cancer would in the end claim her life. Jay couldn't understand why Will had left, or how he could go off party after they had gotten that type of news.

The day Will had returned, every bone in his body wanted to scream. Scream at his older brother for leaving when they needed him the most. But he didn't have the heart, when Will had gotten off the flight he saw the pain written across his face.

However they weren't the emotional family and knew that his brother like him was grieving their mother's death silently. He didn't have the heart to bring it up what he wanted to say after seeing him like that.

Three days before the funeral, Will had stop him in the kitchen and told Jay the reason for him leaving. Jay learnt that it had been their mother who had told Will to go. And that she was proud of him for making a difference. For following his heart.

Jay understood and was pleased that one of their parents had told Will that they were proud of him but at the same time he couldn't understand why Will agreed to go. Will was so much like their mother that sometimes it was painful to be around him. He had her kind nature and the need to help others. But that was the reason he couldn't forgive his father about what had happened the day they had buried their mother.

Their father after returning from the cemetery had started drinking. And by the end of the night he had drowned himself in three large bottles of whisky. Most of their other family had left at the end of the second bottle. Leaving Will and Jay to deal with their drunk father.

Jay had chose to ignore his father all together but when their father had drunk half of the fourth bottle, Will had gone to take the bottle off him when it all happened.

Jay had heard the shouting from the kitchen; but didn't move until the voices started to get more violent. By the time he had gotten into the room; he watched in horror as their father had took a swing at Will's unguarded face.

Their father like him had been in the Rangers and his hits were as dangerous as being hit with a baseball bat. And it wasn't the only one he delivered on Will. Screaming at him as he punched Will several times before Jay could get between the two of them.

It was that moment everything had changed for Jay. The words that their father had spat at Will when he was on the floor had destroyed his relationship with the man that he had once called dad. His brother had become his only family.

Their father had drunkenly walked out of the house leaving Jay to patch up his bloody brother. Even as Jay nursed his brother's bruised and bloody face Will had tried to get Jay to forget it ever happened and that it hadn't been their father's fault. That it was the drink. But it didn't matter. The hate that he felt for his own father filled him to the core.

He never spoke to the man if he could help it and only if Will asked him. Jay knew that their father had never approved of his brother's choices in life which only fed fuel to the fire.

All the males in their family had served in the military and like his father he had joined the Rangers to make a difference. But Will wasn't like them. He cared and wanted to help people and didn't have it in him to become a soldier and be ready to kill.

In his mother's eyes, Will was too smart to throw it all away to become a soldier. Ever since their mother had been diagnosed, Will had his dreams set on being a doctor. And she pushed him to go for his dreams. But that hadn't calmed their father when he found out. And the fights that happened between their parents were often about Will.

When Jay returned from Afghanistan he had been glad that his brother had kept away from the military. It didn't matter that he was the younger brother, and that his older brother should be the one to protect him from the world. He was glad that his brother was protected from the things he had seen. But he knew that he couldn't protect him from everything.

Will always saw the best in people and Jay hate to think what a few years in the military would have done to him. But now seeing his brother looking so ill, he wished he could have done more.

In front of him, he saw his failure. His failure to protect his own brother in the city that they should both feel safe. It was his job to protect the city and the people in it and he couldn't even protect his own blood. His brother nearly died in the city he should have felt safe.

He watched Will for any sign of him moving either closer to the land of the living or the halls of the dead. However as time went on, he noticed something odd. Will's eyes kept moving in a strange pattern, a if his brother was dreaming.

He couldn't even imagine what the dream could be about, but he had a horrible feeling as he had seen it before. A dream when a person is debating whether to live or to die. His brother was now at the mercy of his own mind, and he could only hope that Will could find more reasons to come back to him.

He needed him. More than ever.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Connor was beyond tired. It had been the longest shift of his life with many ups and downs, however the lowest point was standing over his friend knowing that there was nothing else he could do. Being on call, sadly, meant that he couldn't keep a close eye on Will. He knew that many of the other staff had called to see Will for themselves when the news hit the hospital about the attack.

Connor also had to deal with all heads of departments in the hospital questioning his method of surgery, choices he had made and every moment that he had been in charge of the case. He had to attend meetings with every department and update the bosses of the hospital.

Will was one of their own, and that meant only the best treatment was offered. Connor knew that many of the departments had mixed feelings about Will staying on at the hospital but they couldn't argue that he was a great doctor.

Connor had finally found some peace in the doctor's lounge. Closing the door, he dropped himself onto the couch and closed his eyes. Today had been a bad day.

After the surgery and the two emergency calls he had been allow time to take a quick shower, throwing his second pair of scrubs in his bag. In the hot water, he could still feel his friend's blood on his skin.

He had been able to change into his surgical scrubs but the blood seem to have stuck to his body. He hated having a patient's blood on him and more so when it was a friends. He had to clean it off.

He was now in scrub number three. Luckily he always left a few spare pair of scrubs at the hospital just in case he needed to change. Before and after his shower, he had checked on Will a couple of times to see on how he was faring and checked on his vital signs.

At the same time he had checked on Will's younger brother Jay. It seem to him that the younger Halstead brother was still in a state of shock. He wouldn't react to anything said to him. However he had learned after speaking to the Doris that whenever someone touched Will, they saw Jay shift in his seat and watch them closely. If he was getting ready to protect his brother from any other threat.

But Connor couldn't blame him, they had almost lost Will tonight.

Will had been too close to death than he would like. However he couldn't make himself tell his friends and Will's brother the whole truth.

Will was physically drowning in his own blood. He had lost so much blood that it had started to pour from the wound as soon as a few of the bandages. It was a fight in itself to keep Will's heart beating. The Anaesthetics Registrar had been right, Will's heart was suffering and that became apparent when he crashed.

Overall, throughout the whole operation Will had crashed twice. Even now he could still hear the sound of the machines as it screamed with the information that his friend's heart had stopped.

He had just about to close the small hole in his friend's heart when Will's heart stop for the second time. He had only just pushed the needle through Will's heart to close the wound when it happened.

As he enjoyed the silence, he couldn't stop his mind ran over the whole operation in slow motion. Counting each step he had done to find out if he had missed a step or could have done something different. However deep down he knew that he couldn't lessen the damage already done by the knife. And he had done the right thing.

But from his experience as a doctor if Will survived his injuries he was going to have a long and painful recovery before he could even leave the ICU. And an even longer on to leave the hospital. He didn't want to try to work out how long it would take Will to get into recovery before he could think about returning to work. But only if he wanted too.

Something like this could make Will not want to come back. To run away from the pain that he was clearly in. He had always admired the fact that Will really cared about what he did. He had found of that Will had been a talented surgeon when he had took that role. It was a shock that Will had taken the role of an trauma doctor over a surgeon.

Will was a good doctor, a great doctor. He also liked the fact that Will didn't cared about breaking the rules in order to save someone's life. He also took any punishment giving to him afterwards.

However with every failure he took personal. Each time Will had done something right to save someone; something else would come along and throw it back in his face.

The man cared too greatly sometimes, if there were such a thing. He had seen Will beat himself up again and again for things that were beyond his control. That was Will's weakness, and he knew that one day it would destroy him.

Opening his eyes he turned his head to look out on the busy ER. When he had returned to the floor he noticed that people avoid a spot of floor in front of the desk. Where not that long ago Will had laid on the floor bleeding.

Will's blood had been long ago cleaned up but it seem to have strained the floor with the horrible mark that had affected them all. Will had been here longer than him and he could see that the young doctor had made some good friends here and sadly with that fact they had all been marked by seeing their friend hurt.

However even with all his friends he had noticed something about Will that confused him. Over time he noticed that Will would never talk about anything personal with anyone. Not even if he trusted them with everything else.

Natalie and Maggie were the two people that Will trusted the most but his personal life was a private subject and he hated talking about it. Even with Ethan, Will would never talk about his private life, instead he would talk about anything else as soon as the topic was brought up.

However that didn't stop him from muttering little comments when he thought no one was listening. However he wasn't one to talk since his private life was also private. His family was a no go area with him as well. He hated talking about his life with anyone but at least Will had a brother to help him out.

Picking up his cup of coffee that he had gotten on the way back from one of his trips up to see Will, only to find the liquidstone cold. It felt like he had only just sat down in his chair but looking up at the clock on the wall he saw that he had been sat there for over an hour since he had first placed himself in the chair.

His legs were asleep. Slowly he started to move them trying to get them to wake up. He knew that he really should think about going home and catching up on some sleep however he couldn't get himself to do it.

He was running on caffeine and a lot of it. He knew every well that if Doctor Charles spotted him, he would be advised to go home and to get some sleep. But more worrying for him was the knowledge of it Mrs Goodwin saw him sitting here he would be sent home with an order not to return until his next shift.

But as must as his body wanted and needed sleep, he knew that even at home he wouldn't find it. He couldn't switch off his mind. He then found himself looking at Will's locker that stood next to his.

He didn;t know if he could handle watching as someone else cleaned out Will's locker. And he couldn't just leave, not with the knowledge that his friend could die any minute without him being there trying to save him.

It was silly and he knew it. He knew that Will's life was out of his hands and it was up to Will to fight.

As this thought entered his mind he heard the door to the room open and softly close. Sadly someone had found him. He looked up in surprise to see Sam in her her own clothes with her coat wrapped around her tightly.

"Thought I would find you here. Forgot we had plans for dinner again?" She asked with a smile, remembering the last time he forgot they had plans and they had ended up back at his place and ordering take out.

However to be truthful Connor had forgot, with everything that had happened he had forgotten he had plans. He also knew that he should have clocked off two hours ago. He knew that she wasn't going to be happy, but he couldn't leave. With a sigh, he sat up in his chair and looked at her but not in the eye.

"Think I am going to stay around here for a while. Will was suppose to be working tonight and they need someone to cover for him." He started and then looked back to the ER. Will has supposed to be out there with the others and not lying in a hospital bed.

"Also I need to check on him to see if he starts to improve. I know he wouldn't wake up tonight and maybe not even tomorrow but I will be more happy when I see him improving even a little." It was strange speaking about someone he worked with like one of his patients.

But he was his patient, there was no other way to put it. He was. And he wasn't going to hand his friend over to another doctor when he had worked so hard already. Even if he trusted the doctor with his friend's life because if anything happened he wouldn't forgive himself.

"Come on Rhodes, he isn't going to improve tonight. Hell; he has the whole hospital looking after him. He can survive one night with you not being there…" Sam started to say but stopped.

Sometimes she didn't understand him, he was a brilliant doctor but he got too personal with some cases. And this was one of them.

She sighed and knew that he wasn't going to leave with her. So she just turned and walked out. Leaving him alone again with his thoughts.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

It had taken nearly an hour to make sure that they had gotten all the entrances and exits covered. All cameras were checked from faults and to make sure they covered the hallway towards Will's room.

Erin had been working with the hospital security and the police sergeant to make sure that Will was completely covered. Will was everything for Jay, she didn't know what had happened in their family expect the loss of their mother. But when Jay and Will had connected again, the pair had become close. They were brothers again.

She quickly headed to check on each of the officers that had been assigned to the security team before heading to see Jay. As she stood at the window, she looked at her partner. Jay was in pain. It was written all across his face.

Physically he wasn't. But mentally he was. He was blaming himself and the guilt was clear to see. Guilt that he shouldn't be feeling but was written right over his face. He was blaming himself for not protecting his brother like he thought he should have done.

Erin had been with Jay through a lot however this time she didn't know what to say to him. Will was his only family left that he cared about and now he could lose him. She wanted to be with her partner, be there for him to make him see that everything was going to be ok.

However before she had chance to go to the door, she heard footsteps behind her, her hand quickly moved to the grip of her weapon. Quickly she turned to see Voight walking towards her had alone. She had texted him with her updates on the security team and any news she was able to get off Doctor Rhodes on passing.

In the pit of her stomach, Erin knew that Voight wouldn't have come without a reason. She has seen Voight angry, scared and seriously worried. And she saw as soon as they had gotten the news about Will those emotions flash across his face. Will had helped out Voight in the past and as the brother of one of his detectives, he was classed as family.

"How is he?" He asked joining her at the window. His eyes scanned over both Will and Jay in the room. Erin knew that the question was meant for both of the Halstead men. But she only knew how to answer about one of them.

"No change. However no news is good news right?" She said turning to look at her foster father. She knew that he would have wanted a better report however she had no news to give him. She had hunted Doctor Rhodes every chance she got or when he had turned from visiting Will for an update.

She had been so wrapped up with making sure that Mr Walker couldn't get near Will so badly that she had not returned to the room until now. Jay didn't need to worry about his brother's safety. All he needed to worry about was being there for him.

"We got some more intel on Walker." Voight said however didn't continue. His eyes locked on Will. His mind quickly flashed back to seeing his wife in a hospital bed close to death. Before snapping back to the present day.

Erin looked at him waiting for him to carry on with his sentence. Intelligence had the best tech in the whole PD. Even if half of the stuff he did was so illegal that it was funny that he was working with the cops.

She also knew that Mouse would have worked twice as hard for Jay. Those two were like brothers. They had fought together, been through hell together and held a very close bond. When Will had come back into Jay's life, she had been worried that Mouse was going to feel left out. Feel as if he had lost another brother.

But the three of them had become almost like a little family unit. However she couldn't tell who was older and the more responsible of the three and that question became more apparent when they were at Molly's. The two former rangers and the doctor seem to to bounce off each other when one or more of them was having a bad day.

"I need to talk to him." Voight added pointing at Jay, they both needed to hear what he had found out. Even if Jay wasn't going to like it.

Erin had no idea how she was going to get Jay away from Will, she knew that the nurses had tried for him to take a break but with no luck. She had no idea how she was going to get him leave for any length of time. Let alone to hear what Voight had to say.

On the other hand, she knew that Jay wasn't going to sit this one out. Not when it involved family. And not when the risk was high of the person coming back to finish the job.

As much as she wanted to tell him that it was probably for the best to leave Jay out of the case and focus on it without letting him anywhere near it, she knew that it would make the situation worse. But she also knew Voight had made his mind up. And he wasn't going to tell her anything without him there.

She sighed and moved to enter Will's room. However luck was on her side, as she placed her hand on Will's door to open it she was meet by a tired looking Doctor Rhodes. Then an idea popped into her head. Jay may not leave his brother for long but using a medical check up might get him out of the room long enough for Voight to speak to them.

"Hey Doctor Rhodes, I need your help with something." Erin started stopping him in his tracks.

Voight watches as Erin quickly spoke to Doctor Rhodes before the two went inside Will's room. After a few minutes of quiet conversation between his two detectives, he watched as they both exited the room.

Jay looked like crap. The worry and guilt was clear on his face mixed with pure exhaustion of the whole day. Jay was pushing his body and soon enough he was going to crash. Jay however dismissed the look of concern from his Sergeant and spoke to him with a harsh and almost in a snap, not happy about being pulled away from his brother.

"What do you know?" He asked.

Down to business as normal. But Voight knew that he couldn't tell his young detective what he would want to hear and that the person responsible was behind bars or on the way to the morgue.

"Antonio and Alvin went to the Walker home to find it empty. Nothing was taken like they had ran and there was no sign that they had returned after leaving the hospital. They found the boy at his sister's address." Voight started and looked at Erin in that moment.

They had a strong theory that the boy had been there or in the car when Walker attacked Will. And then had drove straight to his sister's address. Erin only hoped that the little boy hadn't witnessed his father stab Will as that image would remain in his head for the rest of his life.

"They spoke to the sister who told them that he had dropped off Alex around about twenty minutes after Will was stabbed. Which would be the time it takes to drive there from here." Voight continued watching Jay as his knuckles started to go white as he clenched his fists.

"He told her that his wife was dead and that he needed to be alone but needed Alex taken care of. She agreed and didn't know that he had attacked Will. She was pretty shocked at his behaviour when he arrived and she doesn't know where he would have gone." Voight finished.

He knew that he was giving Jay the bare minimum of information on what Antonio and Alvin had reported back to him. But Jay didn't need to know the whole thing. He wasn't allowed anywhere near the case nor would he help in this matter. Revenge was clearly written all across his face everytime someone mentioned Walker's name.

"So we are no closer in finding this SOB?" Jay nearly yelled, but he stopped himself not wanting to upset any of the nurses who could have easily thrown him out. There were other people in the ICU, and he knew that Will would have been the first one to tell him off for disturbing other patients.

"No." Voight started. Jay throw his hands in the air, it was that or punch something. And moved away from Voight incase his anger got the better of him.

"But we know how he was able to stab Will without him being able to defend himself." This caught Jay's attention causing him to spin around and look directly at his boss.

" Mr Walker is a ex-Ranger." This news hit Jay like a ton of bricks.

His brother had been attacked by a former ranger. That only made him feel even more sick. It's how he knew the technique. He had used it in the field and now it had been used on his brother. He also knew the damage that it could do if the person survived it. The damage the blame caused as it was pushed upwards past the ribs. And now his brother was going to have to live with those injuries for the rest of his life.

"Mr Walker left five months after Alex was born. That is what he told his wife however he was discharged because he was under investigation for assault and took the way out instead of going to the brig. They didn't have enough evidence to dishonourable discharge him. I talked to his old commanding officer who said that Walker always had a short temper and was disciplined for fighting and causing problems when things didn't go his way." As he finished, he watched for any sign on Jay's face that he was going to go on a personal mission to kill Walker in a fit of anger. Nor would anyone blame him, however it would end with him in prison and Voight knew that he couldn't protect him from that.

Jay's mind was spinning, a ex-soldier and a ex-ranger at that had tried to kill his brother. He knew how a soldier's mind worked and what would happen. When news got to Walker that his brother was still alive, then he would be back. He had unfinished business and that would be his drive. He would come for Will.

It didn't matter how many security guards or uniform officers they put in place, if Walker wanted to get at his brother he could. He would use all the training he had been given to get at Will. And dealing with a soldier was hard and more so when he had his eyes set on killing someone.

Jay sighed and turned away from Voight and Erin and stood right in front of the window into his brother's room. His face was barely touching the glass. He now knew that his place was protecting his brother. He stood a chance against Walker when many others didn't. Not that the others didn't have the right training, it was just he knew that Walker would go through them all to get his hands on Will. He had hurt enough people that he cared about, he wasn't going to hurt anymore.

"...it's better if you stayed here with Will. We all know that he will be back as soon as he hears that he survived the wound." The sound of Voight's voice brought him back to reality. Voight was right. As much as every bone in his body wanted to hunt down the man who had did this to his older brother, his place was here.

"Keep me updated?" Jay asked turning to face Voight, the two looked directly at each other. They both knew that Walker would come back to finish Will off if they didn't catch him soon.

Erin looked shocked that Jay had backed down so easily about not been there for the hunt for Walker. But at the same time she understood her partner. He needed to be there for his brother and protect the family he had left but at the same time it wasn't health him sitting there staring at the still form of his brother.

Voight nodded and as soon as Voight did that, Jay turned and headed back into his brother's room. Where Connor and a nurse that he hadn't noticed enter the room had just finished checking the wound on his brother abdomen.

Erin watched her partner before turning back to Voight. Before she could speak, he cut her off.

"Will is still in danger here Erin. I need his head focused on his brother and not out there hunting the bastard. I will call if we find anything else out." And with that Voight turned and walked away from her.

Standing there alone, she sighed. Why did this have to happen?

Hadn't her partner been through enough? And after everything he had gone through, he had now witnessed his older brother fighting for his life when he couldn't do anything but watch.

Life wasn't fair. But in her eyes, it never was. Good people got hurt everyday when the bad somehow survived.

It just wasn't fair.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine  
** Ethan had been in war. He had seen so much death to break anyone and yet he allowed himself to be surrounded by it everyday of his life. However this was his life, he was a trauma doctor who's job was to be there for people when they needed him the most.

However in his job, both here at home and in war, he had seen many good and brave men bloody and broken. With many of them never making it home. When he had returned home he thought he would have been safe from seeing his friends in those positions. He wouldn't have to treat his friends who were so close to death that he could see them slipping away.

But he was home. He was safe from any physical harm and yet another one of his friends was yet again fighting for his life. And he knew that Will was more closer to leaving them, leaving him alone. Why did this keep happening to him?

It seem that someone up high was against him ever having a family as every time he made a friend or like Will a brother, something would cause him to lose them in the most painful way. Whether that be from a bomb, a bullet or a knife it kept happening. He kept losing them.

The sound of the room brought him back into the room, and as he looked around at the busy department, the new shift had only started to take over the department and the news was getting around about what had happened to one of their own.

Ethan knew that his shift was long over and his scrubs felt like a full suit of armour weighing him down. He knew that he should think about heading home, shower and trying to catch some sleep before his next shift but he couldn't make himself do it. He couldn't make himself leave. Will was his friend and the thought of him not being here incase he was needed killed him. He couldn't push himself to go into the locker room, grab his back and head home.

For one reason, he had parked his car right next to Will's that morning. He had pulled up next to his friend who at the time was busy on the phone. He had smiled when he had lightly tapped the window making Will jump to remind him that they did have a shift that was about to start. Leaving and seeing Will's car just stood there, waiting for Will to come back to move it would kill him a little more. He should be leaving with Will. Maybe with the plan to catch a few beers at Molly's or joking as they both went their separate ways. However that wasn't going to happen.

than rubbed his hands over his face, trying to rid himself of the tiredness that he was feeling, the adrenaline that had flooded his body when he had first seen Will had complete left his body as soon as he had been told the whole story regarding Will's injuries. He knew that Will had a fight on his hands.

He looked over the sea of people when his eyes fell on Ms Goodwin speaking to the security team at the door. Their number had increased over the last few hours and they were joined by uniform and plain clothed police officers. He had a feeling under orders to find the person responsible.

He however did not want Ms Goodwin to catch him still here, knowing very well that she would send him home immediately with orders not to return until his shift. He thought it better for him if she didn't spot him and quickly and quietly slipped into the doctor's lounge and slowly closed the door, hoping that she hadn't seen him.

"Hiding from Goodwin?" The question made him jump and he turned to see Connor laid across the couch looking at him, still in his operating scrubs. He looked as the same as him, tired and emotional. Which he knew from the past was bad mix.

Ethan sighed and dropped himself into one of the chairs and nodded.

Connor sighed and spoke, his voice showing his tiredness. "Same here. Not really in the mood to head home when we are still in the first 24 hours." Connor pulling himself up into a sitting position and put his hands together in front of him. He unconsciously started to rub them together like he was scrubbing in for theatre. Ethan had noticed this when Will had pointed it out to him whenever Connor became stressed.

Ethan understood what Connor meant. If he had been the one to operate on Will, he would make sure that he was close at hand in case anything went wrong and they had to go back in. But also he would be second guessing every move he had made. And by the look on Connor's face Ethan could only guess that those thought had kept the other doctor there.

"What a mess." Connor muttered as he let himself fall back into the couch and closed his eyes again.

If his money could have stopped this he would have spent every dollar he had to save his friend the pain that he was going through. Will had challenged him and wasn't scared about the fact that he came from a rich family. A rich family who donated a lot of money into the very hospital that they worked in. He was just another doctor in the hospital. And he was the closest thing he had to a true friend for a very long time.

Growing up Connor had never been sure if people were just being his friends for his money or were there because they liked him. But with Will, he didn't care. And also he knew that Will was never afraid of speaking his mind. Even when that sometimes got him into trouble.

"We did everything we could. It's up to Will now." Ethan said out loud for the first time something they all knew. He had used the phrase before but he had hoped and prayed that he would never have to use it about one of his friends again. Not after Afghanistan.

Connor nodded, he didn't like the thought that it didn't matter what he did in the operating room if the person wanted to die they normally did. He had noticed that the normally firey red head had been on a downward spiral for some time; he could only hope that Will knew that they would fight for him even when he didn't want to fight for himself.

What else could they do?

They both fell into silence, both trapped in their own minds thinking over everything from their friendship with Will to their trauma room tasks and then to the operating room. Every move they made now was running in front of them seeing if they could have done anything differently that would have increased Will's chances of surviving.

However soon they were interrupted suddenly by the office door been thrown open. They both jumped to their feet and turned to see a very stressed and scared Sarah.

"Doctor Rhodes it's Doctor Halsteads'..." It was all Sarah could say, as she tried to catch her breathe before the spreaker screamed for Doctor Rhodes to report to Intensive Care immediately.

Ethan and Connor didn't wait for Sarah to speak again as they both set off running for the lift which luckily had just opened before pressing the floor that was the intensive care ward. Something must have gone seriously wrong with Will. Connor could also feel his pager go off in his pocket calling him to the intensive care ward. It didn't stop moving in his pocket.

Which only made his heart race even quicker. What gone this badly wrong? He had stopped all the bleeding so unless something broke loses. His mind was running a hundred miles an hour.

As the lift doors opened, Connor and Ethan were greeted to a sight that shocked them both.

What the hell had happened?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

Jay hated this. Hated just sitting in a quiet room that felt like time had stopped.

He was a man of action. It was who he was. He knew nothing less. He was the person on the front line fighting the person next to him. Even as a child, he was always the one getting into fights and mischief.

Will, on the other hand, was completely different. He was quiet and a bookworm. He liked spending time inside in a book. But sometimes he would play and hang out with him. They would often play hockey out on the street. However, he was more comfortable in a book and that didn't change as he got older. Only thing was that he had started to like to party and being around people that he did knew in a more social environment.

However, in the end, Jay knew that his brother had never been taught how to protect himself right. He was the one who was trained to protect others and that was even more so when it came to his family. He was the one who should have protected his brother. And he had failed.

He had failed his brother, the only family member left that he cared about. And he couldn't make it right. He couldn't turn back time and change everything that had gone wrong with Will. It was odd; most brothers' relationships remained the same throughout their lives with the older brother being the more stronger out of the two. But with them, he had always been the stronger one out of the two for most of their lives.

He might be the younger brother but the Army had changed him. He had grown up. He had too. He had little choice. With the things he had seen and the violence he had witnessed had changed not only his mind but his soul. He had lost the little spark that he saw so clearly in his brother. The spark that allowed him to see the good in people.

Jay looked at his brother's face, which was hard as a tube came from his mouth and nose. But at least some of his brother's colour had returned. He had a hint of pink that he had been watching bleed back into his brother's face. A good sign.

He couldn't remember what time Voight had told him the bad news but it felt like hours ago, and maybe it was.

With a sigh, he got to his feet, only to find that his legs had gone to sleep. Maybe it was hours ago. He had thrown his leather jacket on the back of his seat when he felt the weight of it grow too much for him by wearing it. It was like the weight of carrying all his guilt. He knew that some of the guilt he should have shaken a long time ago but couldn't. Not after what he had done.

Quickly he shook his legs away and started to move around the small room. He had passed an empty room on the way in and saw how big the room was, but not his brother's. The room was filled with machines that were lined up along one side of the room. This only increased his worry. So many machines, machines that were needed to keeping his brother alive. But the number still worried him, it didn't matter the reinsurances he got from the nurses.

Being a cop meant that every day he was in the line of fire and yet here he was, stood in his brother's hospital room waiting for him to wake up. It didn't seem fair.

He needed coffee, some of the nurses and one of the visitors to the ward had been bringing him coffee and water but he could feel that the effect of it had long since worked off. He could feel his body slowly shutting down, and he also knew that Will would be the first one to kill him for not eating all day. It was funny that he knew that WIll had done it all the time but it was a problem if he did it. And Will's smart mouth comment he would come back with was that he was the doctor of the family and knew better. Age was never used. As out of both of them, he acted the oldest most of the time, not counting when he got drunk.

He had skipped breakfast to get a report finished and had missed lunch for another case. And now he was very unlikely to leave his brother unguarded to grab a sandwich so it looked like he was going to have to wait. Wait for the next check-in. He had three undercover S.W.A.T officers stood around the ICU and one unforms, with four others in position around the hospital entrances. And every couple of hours one would check in with him, sometimes informing him if anything had happened that he needed to be aware of. So, he might get the next one to go grab him something or ask for something to be brought.

But the one thing he had learned from the hospital was that each department had a coffee machine however the coffee was crap. Luckily on the ICU floor, the nurses often made fresh coffee and offered it to the visitors.

Looking back at Will, Jay remembered that he knew very little about his older brother when it came down to work. Within the first few hours, he had found that Will had been helping many of the younger doctors and even the students with their work in his free time. Even going out of his way to test them before exams. Also, nearly all the nurses in the hospital knew Will personally and many had commented that Will knew all their names and got on well with them.

He had been inundated with nurses, doctors and technicians coming in and seeing how Will was doing or just coming in to check on Will's condition and if he needed anything. He had also got to know the names of the nurses that kept checking on his brother, and he quickly spotted the telltale signs that the nurses that kept coming had a little thing for his brother. He also knew that Will would find some way to kill him if he told Nat about that he had admires.

Jay moved towards the door and with one quick look back at Will, he slowly opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. He automatically scanned the hall for any threat before closing the door. At both ends of the corridor sat either one or two of the S.W.A.T officers dressed in place clothes but he could see their vests and weapons hidden. Only a trained eye would see them, but sadly Will's attacked had one, guarding the entrances.

Before moving away from Will's room, Jay nodded to the only uniformed officer that was stationed outside Will's room. When Jay had stepped out the first time he was shocked at who he saw. Paul had been Jay's first partner when he had joined the job, they had talked for a little bit before Jay had returned to Will's room. Mainly they caught up on what they had been up too, and Paul had told him that a lot of officers had volunteered to watch other Will.

Not only because of Jay but also because Will had been the doctor on call when many of them had been rushed in after been injured on the job. But also the doctor what always had time to fit them in if they needed to get checked over quickly so they could return to duty.

Jay moved towards the tablet that sat against the wall to another room and closes to the nurses' station. There sat what he was looking for. The coffee pot. It sat in full view of the entrance of the ward. As he had been pacing Will's room, he had spotted one of the younger nurses replace the pot with some fresh coffee and he had smelt it as soon as he had opened the door.

He grabbed one of the cups that sat next to the coffee pot and poured himself one, not bothering to add milk or sugar. He normally added it but today he needed to stay awake. The liquid was hot but that didn't stop him from pouring the liquid straight into his mouth. He could feel the burning sensation as the liquid moved its way down his throat and into his stomach. But he didn't care, he needed the caffeine hit.

However, he also knew that he needed to be careful about how much coffee he drank in front of the nurses. Well some of them. Will had once told him that some of the older nurses would get in the habit of counting how much coffee someone drank and wasn't afraid of cutting someone off if they thought they had drunk too much.

But at least Jay knew that he wasn't the only one being watched about how much coffee he drank, the ward had people coming and going most of the day. People visiting other patients that were in similar condition to Will. And a few he guessed may not make it. He had wanted to close off the ward and make it nearly impossible for Walker to get to his brother but had gone against the task because of Will. He knew his brother, Will would have killed him if he had suggested clsoing a whole ward for one patient. It didn't matter who they were. This was a working hospital. And he knew that Will would be the first to tell him that.

Without a second thought, Jay poured himself another cup but this time added a little milk. He turned his back on June, an older nurse that was stood watching him. She was a mixture of a loving grandmother and a strict teacher all in one. Will had also warned him about her. Jay had laughed at Will's comment but when he saw the look Will gave him he knew that he wasn't kidding. The woman was a force to be reckoned with.

As Jay held the cup to his lips and took in the smell he froze. Something in his body caused him to stop what he was doing and his senses went onto high alert. Something was wrong and he could feel it but he couldn't work out what.

He allowed his eyes to turn to where he felt the danger and saw that four new people had entered the ward.

Two were a couple that he had seen before, both in the early fifths. They had been visiting a gentleman in the room behind the nurses' station who had only arrived on the ward four hours before. From the doctor that came with him, Jay guessed that he had been through a heart operation.

Along with them was a young woman Jay had spoken to a few times since he had been up here. She had been visiting her mother who had kidney failure and was placed three rooms down from Will's. She was younger than him but at the same time not bad looking. Her amber hair was cut in a short style which always fell across her face when she moved her head too much. Him and her had talked a little when the nurses had asked him to leave the room so they could do their checks with a doctor and they had started talking. She had also brought him a cup of coffee a few times when she passed the room.

However then his attention fell on the man that seems to be lagging behind the others. Something was off about him. He was dressed in what he could only describe as a nurses uniform however something about the man's stand rang alarm bells. He walked like a soldier. And on his sleeve he only confirmed it. The uniform didn't completely cover it but he could clearly see a dark tattoo that said 'Ranger'.

Jay started to move after the man and caught Paul's eye. His old partner had also caught something about the man that made him up his guard. But it was too late, as he went to set in front of the man to stop him from gaining entry to Will's room it happened.

As the officers from other ends of the hallway moved closer, also getting the message that this man was no employee of the hospital something in the man's body language changed. And for the first time, Jay saw the man's face. Walker.

Before Paul could fully draw his weapon, Walker had been able to disarm him and wrap his arm across his neck slamming him into his chest, placing his own weapon at his head. Walker was now circled by all four of them with their weapons drawn aimed directly at Walker's head and body. The radio of Paul's chest was screaming with orders, Jay guessed that one of the S.W.A.T officers had raced the alarm when Walker had grabbed Paul.

It was now a standoff. And if he failed Jay knew that his brother would die. And he wouldn't be the only one.


End file.
